"Who's story is it anyway"

[Bob Cunningham]

                            Come on Bernadette                            

[Bernie Bobcat]

Bob!   Don't get me started!   

No, really got to resist!

Off to work - catch you all later! 

[✈ Elle ☀]

Ok... word to prompt an anecdote from the lovely Bernadette...

"Mayonnaise"

[Bernie Bobcat]

Sorry Elle - just makes me think of butties & sambos!  I don't think I've got any funny stories with mayo in!  -  Although if I stretch the imagination, I do have a Deli story from when David was about two and a half years old!

Here goes! 

One day, while I was at work, Alan took David down to the local Deli in his buggy, to pick up a sandwich for lunch. We used the same place regularly as it was a short walk from home. There was a girl who worked there who never smiled. (Just one of natures grumpy faced types).  Anyhow, Alan phoned me at work to tell me this little story that afternoon to brighten up my day, so hopefully it will give you a chuckle!

He opened the conversation with - "you know the girl in Staffords that never smiles? Today she laughed out loud!".  Apparently the shop was busy so Alan was queueing up alongside the glass display cabinets to place his order.  David was sitting in his buggy at the level where all the food was displayed inside. There were tubs of coleslaw (in mayonnaisse Elle!!!) and salads, all types of cold sliced meat, and just where David's buggy was parked, were a couple of rings of black and white pudding.  (If you don't know how pudding is prepared in the butchers leave this story now, cos you're not going to get the punchline!)  Anyhow, David was taking note of everything, and then he tugged Alan's sleeve to get his attention (and the attention of the grumpy faced shop assistant) pointed at the white pudding, and very matter of factly said "that's poo poos!"   

[Josie]

Brilliant!

You must have the Irish story telling gene!

J x

[✈ Elle ☀]

Oh god - out of the mouths of babes eh?!

[Bernie Bobcat]

 

Kids & Animals - guaranteed to make you laugh & cry!

[Flash]

A guy I worked with (this is a true story) was in the busy post office queue and there was a woman with a little kid in front, the little kid kept trying to get the attention of the woman behind the counter and the mother, agitated, kept telling him (the kid - we'll call him Jonny)) to be quiet.  Anyway the kid eventually starts saying to the assistant "I've got a secret", the mum very agitated keeps saying "be quiet Jonny"  -- "I've got a secret" -- "be quiet the lady doesn't want to know" "I've got a secret" -- "shh" eventually the assistant smiles and asks him what the secret is and he say's very loud ....."My mum eats willies!!"

Apparently she shot out of the shop leaving the kid looking very confused and everyone else in hysterics!!!

[Madstock]

Mrs M was on a packed bus into Birmingham one Saturday morning when a young lad at the top of his voice said "why was uncle frank in your bed mommy after daddy had gone to work?" The whole bus burst out laughing and Mrs M said that a very red faced woman and child got off at the next stop!
I've often wondered just how much it cost that woman to stop him repeating his party piece at home.

[Flash]

Makes me wonder if infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery 

[Josie]

How did I know that Keith would follow that story by Flash  ?

[Madstock]

Meaning?   

[Flash]

I think she means we're both equally uncouth!!

No estas embromando Josie 

[✈ Elle ☀]

Oh god - that's hilarious!!! It beats my sister (who's now 25) asking a bald man with a beard why his head was on upside down.

[Celtygirl]

No 1 son, when about 2, never said 'knife and fork' - insisted in saying 'fork and knife'. Say it out loud - one Sunday - in a crowded restaurant he shouts 'where's my fork and knife, Mummy?'. You should have seen the looks we got