P Niss

[Silly Gilly]

The Day P Niss asked for a Raise


I, P Niss, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
I do physical labor.
I work at great depths.
I plunge headfirst into everything I do..
I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
I work in a damp environment.
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
I work in high temperatures.
My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
Sincerely,

P Niss

The Response

Dear P Niss

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:

You do not work 8 hours straight.
You fall asleep after brief work periods.
You do not always follow the orders of the management team. 
You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.
You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the
Correct protective clothing.
You will retire well before you are 65.
You are unable to work double shifts.
You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task.
And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.
Sincerely,

V Gina

[Madstock]

Brilliant, I had this as a txt message a few weeks ago

[Silly Gilly]

I've seen it a few times but had to try and adapt it to hopefully make it acceptable! 

[Josie]

I'm going to be boringly sensible by saying I can't believe you work in the same business as me!

Or forget that - perhaps that's why we're both in here 

J xx

[Silly Gilly]

perhaps that's why we're both in here 

thats more like it!

[Josie]

Have sent you a PM Gilly.

[Silly Gilly]

have replied x