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✈ Elle ☀
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« on: November 12, 2010, 20:13:55 PM » |
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I am sure that Flash could fill this on his own... but anyway, I'll start us off. And Bobski - please don't follow every joke with attachments of laughing faces or we'll be here all day!  Right... first of many... What's green and sings in the corner? Elvis Parsley! |
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✈ Elle ☀
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« Reply #1 on: November 12, 2010, 20:14:21 PM » |
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What do you feed an invisible cat?
Evaporated milk!
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✈ Elle ☀
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« Reply #2 on: November 12, 2010, 20:14:40 PM » |
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What's black, red and whizzes round at 90 mph?
Hamster in a food processor
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✈ Elle ☀
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« Reply #3 on: November 12, 2010, 20:15:07 PM » |
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Where do you get virgin wool from?
Ugly sheep.
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✈ Elle ☀
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« Reply #4 on: November 12, 2010, 20:15:33 PM » |
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Q - What's pink and fluffy?
A - Pink fluff.
Q - what's blue and fluffy?
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A - Pink fluff holding its breath!
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✈ Elle ☀
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« Reply #5 on: November 12, 2010, 20:15:58 PM » |
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Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher?
She couldn't control her pupils.
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✈ Elle ☀
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« Reply #6 on: November 12, 2010, 20:16:28 PM » |
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What's Mary short for?
She's got no legs!
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✈ Elle ☀
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« Reply #7 on: November 12, 2010, 20:17:02 PM » |
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A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, 'Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!' After a few seconds, Little Larry stood up. The teacher said, 'Do you think you're stupid, Larry?' 'No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!'
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✈ Elle ☀
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« Reply #8 on: November 12, 2010, 20:17:22 PM » |
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Larry watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. 'Why do you do that, mommy?' he asked. 'To make myself beautiful,' said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. 'What's the matter, asked Larry 'Giving up?'
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✈ Elle ☀
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« Reply #9 on: November 12, 2010, 20:18:04 PM » |
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Here's a tip for when you feel s**t......
Wear gloves!!
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✈ Elle ☀
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« Reply #10 on: November 12, 2010, 20:18:25 PM » |
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Why do women have to wear knickers?
Because it's the law.....
"The health and Safety at work Act 1974 states - "All Manholes Must Be Covered When Not In Use!".
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✈ Elle ☀
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« Reply #11 on: November 12, 2010, 20:19:11 PM » |
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A husband is someone who, after taking the rubbish out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house.
NOW THAT ONE IS CERTAINLY TRUE!!!
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✈ Elle ☀
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« Reply #12 on: November 12, 2010, 20:20:29 PM » |
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What is blue and smells like green paint?
Blue paint!
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✈ Elle ☀
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« Reply #13 on: November 12, 2010, 20:21:01 PM » |
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I was having dinner with world chess champion Garry Kasporov the other night. Trouble is, there was a check tablecloth. It took him two hours to pass me the salt
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✈ Elle ☀
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« Reply #14 on: November 12, 2010, 20:21:31 PM » |
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A woman went to her doctors.."doctor i keep peeing 10ps, 20ps, 50ps....what's the matter with me?" doctor replies "Nothing to worry about...your going through the change!"
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